The Fine Print

First in-First fed, and waitlist when necessary

…and most likely will have a waitlist during peak times between 5p-8p, and Sunday 4-close. Come in, say bonjour, guten tag, salva, hola, or ‘sup. We may have a table for you, if not, we can add you to our waitlist – no biggie. Cyber guests, may also add themselves to the waitlist by finding us on Google and clicking the “Join Waitlist” button, then follow the process and we will notify you via text when a table is ready. We will hold the table for 15 minutes & shoot you if you’re late. If you’re a no show, we come after you. Really, we wont, we will remove your name and notify to the next hungry guest on our waitlist. We really try to feed everyone and provide great service, sometimes it is not possible when there are more hungry humans than the limitations of restaurant and crew capacity can realistically serve.

The Rocking V Cafe operates happily on Mountain Standard Time.

The state of Arizona does not play along with the whole Daylight Savings Time thang. SO……………..

If you’re coming for dinner from The North Rim or Pipe Springs or ANYWHERE in Arizona, REMEMBER: while the remainder of the universe is on Daylight Savings Time, you are 1 hour BEHIND – EXAMPLE: When the big hand is on the 12 & the little hand is on the 8, it’s 8pm in AZ, but it’s 9pm in Kanab.

We accept VISA, MasterCard, AmEx, traveler’s cheques and cash.

We apologize in advance for the fact that you won’t be getting Discover play money

Pets and their humans are welcome on the patio.

We will also happily provide a doggy water bowl, a milk bone to pets, and their hoomans if they too, would like a water bowl and milkbone. We sell unseasoned Puppy patties!

We want you to have a great time at our place.

If you have a problem, tell us & we’ll do all we can to make it right, right away. If you wait until you’re leaving & mutter something as you walk out the door, we’ll laugh at you & throw pasta in your hair.

The Rocking V is a restaurant, not a bar,

You can NOT just have only a drink. Utah law requires that you MUST have food with ANY alcoholic beverage order. Sweet & Sour Brussel Sprouts goes well with Polygamy Porter.

Our food is slow food, …

… but we’ll gladly pack it all up for takeout.

Planet UTAH is all non-smoking.

You may stroll outside though & have a puff 25 feet away from door openings… yes 25 feet (per Utah law). Also, make sure your fat butt makes it into the ‘tray, please.

Accessibility

Our dining room and restrooms are fully accessible to persons with disabilities. Our gallery is upstairs & therefore is not.

Automatic Gratuity

An 20% gratuity will automatically be added to the bill on parties of 5 or more. A 15% gratuity will automatically be added to the bill for take-out orders. We WILL do the math on that one.

The tax rate is 9.20%

No, we’re not happy about it either.

Just in case your mamma didn’t teach you:

• 1) DO NOT be so rude as to think that everyone coming in for a nice meal wants to listen to your cell phone conversation or watch you text, tweet, MyFace, SpaceLook, MyLook, SpaceFace or TwitterBird your girlfriend. If you are SO important that you can not be out of communication with World HQ for even a minute,
• TAKE ALL ELECTRONIC DEVICES OUTSIDE, finish your beeswax and then shut the damn thing OFF before returning to your table.
• 2) We’ll be happy to read you the entire menu over the phone, however there are better times than 7:30p on Saturday night.
• 3) We know they’ve been in the car for 10 hours, but PLEASE, for their safety & everyone else’s, DO NOT let your restless children run wildly around the floor of the cafe, up & down the stairs or around the gallery. We’re serious. Bad parenting should be limited to the confines of YOUR house. Loose children will be threatened with having their heads set afire. Really. Look it up on Trip Advisor.
• 4) DO NOT change your infant’s diaper ANYWHERE in our cafe (except in the bathroom & then please remove the crappy diaper to your car!)
• 5) While you ARE special and every human being has essential worth, at the end of the meal, it is OUR place and we reserve the right to inform you of that fact if you act like a JACKASS.

We’re happy to hear your comments

Comments, feedback, opinions & general musings on food, fun, art, music & life its own self, as well as your experiences at The Rocking V.